Traditional Down Down Song

Here's to _____, he's true blue.

He's a hasher through and through,
He's a pisspot so they say.
Tried to get to heaven,
But he went the other way.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.
(Continue or go to "Why Are We Waiting")

Why Are We Waiting?
(To: Oh, Come All Ye Faithful)

(Good for slow drinkers at the
Down Down, hurrying up barmaids
or slow beer masters and mismanagement.)

Why are we waiting,
Could be masturbating,
Oh, why are we wa-ai-ting,
So fuck-ing long.
Why are we wait-ing,
Could be fornicating,
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing,
So fucking long!
(repeat as needed)

(Cleaner version for public singing.)
Why are we wait-ing,
Why-y are we waiting,
Oh, why are we wa-ai-ting
Oh why, why, why?
Why are we wait-ing,
Why-y are we wa-ai-ting?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing,
Oh, why, why, why?
(repeat as needed)

He's the Meanest
(To: Okinawa Down Down tune)

He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
All he does is pound it,
Ever since he found it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.
(Continue or go to "Why Are We Waiting")

Why Was He (She) Born So Beautiful?
(Done as a tribute to hasher,
usually after a down down song,
but sometimes as the down down song.)

Why was he (she) born so beautiful,
Why was he (she) born at all.
He's (she's) no fucking use to anyone,
He's (she's) no fucking use at all.
He (she) might be a joy to his (her) mother,
But he's (she's) a pain in the asshole to me!
(Sometimes mooning the recipient)
(If used as a down down song:)
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.
(Continue until down down is finished,
or go into "Why are you waiting".)

(Alternate verse for harriette)
Why was she born so beautiful?
Why was she born a bitch?
She's no bloody use to anyone,
She's only got one tit.